Dear Deborah,
I’m a veterinary receptionist, and at least a few times a month, a client accuses me of not caring about pets and “just being in it for the money.” This really irks me, particularly when it seems they’re suggesting they can’t afford their pet’s veterinary care, when they just pulled up to the clinic in a fancy car.
Can you help me to understand what makes clients act this way? And maybe provide some tips on how to turn around these conversations with them, for the better?
– Not About the Money
Dear Not About the Money,
The first thing you need to know is that it’s very likely that clients saying you’re “just in it for the money” has nothing do with you personally.
Chances are their accusatory attitude came from something going on inside of them, which likely started well before they walked into your clinic.
These days, most people with pets are very emotionally attached to them, the way they may be to a family member. So, when something bad is happening with their favorite pet (or at least one they feel responsible for), it can trigger defensive behavior in them. Practically speaking, this means a client may be reacting with an aggressive response towards you (or anyone around them), because of the fear or discomfort inside of them.
They may be feeling afraid and powerless about an ailing animal, or worried about their personal financial situation (including things like being able to cover car payments, mortgage, or expenses for a sick family member). They also could just be looking to get some attention and sympathy from somebody, anybody, who can help soothe the pain inside of them. Or, in extreme cases, they may actually be trying to manipulate and “guilt” your clinic into giving them discounts or free services.
That all said, no one should be treating you with disrespect or attacking your character in the way you described.
As far as dealing with a client who is disrespectful: If you feel emotionally attacked, it’s important to take care of what’s happening inside of you. One thing that can be helpful is to take some deep breaths or try Box Breathing to short-circuit any fear-based reactions you may have, such as a racing heart, a surging temper, or scattered thinking. Another thing you can do, if it’s appropriate, is excuse yourself for a moment. Then you can clear your head and decide the best course of action.
Also, be sure to talk with your manager about how to handle situations with disrespectful clients. Often, I find managers say it’s their role to handle these situations. Additionally, in some practices, policies for how the staff is to be treated are posted on friendly signs in the waiting room. Some practices also install “panic buttons” behind the reception desk that employees can use when there’s concern about a situation.
If you are at a level where you’re able, and authorized, to address a situation with a disrespectful client yourself: Remember to realize the emotional state that the client is likely in, and don’t take their comments personally.
Think about if it would work to simply say something like, “I’m sorry that you feel that way,” and to invite them to speak somewhere privately, to not make a scene in front of other clients. A good follow-up question may be, “What exactly is the problem that has you upset?” You could then offer to take a closer look at their situation, to come up with the best solution.
This puts the focus back on the client and enables you to address their deeper issue…. Maybe they just want a little sympathy for their suffering over their pet, and they’ll apologize after receiving it. Maybe they glossed over the treatment plan they agreed to and need someone to walk them through it. Maybe they need to speak with someone about financing options or just pay for the visit with their credit card for now. You get the idea.
In any case: Remember not to take unfounded criticism from clients personally. If you do happen to feel emotionally attacked, quickly short-circuit any fear-based reaction inside of yourself before responding. Don’t let disrespectful clients get to you!
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